@ sanctuary

Why Men Cheat?

Posted by David Zinczenko

Of course, we all know that while men and women are both capable of
cheating, it's often the guys who have the biggest problem keeping
their belts firmly buckled. And we all know that no matter who it's
with, why it's done, or where the after-hours canoodling takes
place, cheating is-most of the time-the ultimate relationship death
sentence. But instead of dwelling on what happens after the cheating
takes place, one of the ways to perhaps prevent infidelity is by
knowing a little bit about why men stray. I'm not offering them as
excuses, merely explanations as to what happens in that brain (and
other body parts) of his-in hopes that you might be able to prevent
it. Here, the top reasons why men cheat:

To Fulfill His Biology:
You know the old anthropological tale. A man's main job, besides
killing the saber-tooth, is to spread his seed in order to ensure
the survival of his genetic legacy. It's a man's biology to want to
wander. Does that mean he should, or that he can't help it? Of
course not. But it does mean that a man is going to have strong-
extremely strong-biological urges to knock on the doors of
neighboring huts. I have had this argument/discussion /conversation
with dozens of men and women: Are men predestined to cheat? My
answer is no, they're not-despite their biology. But often times,
they do have to fight it. Especially after a pitcher and two shots
of Jack.



To Get the Attention:
News flash: Sure, some guys cheat because, well, maybe the sexual
frequency has slowed a bit, and maybe hot-and-heavy happens at home
about as often as Rob Schneider gets nominated for an Oscar. But the
truth is that plenty of men who are having regular sex with their
partner are also having sex with someone else. Why? Because cheating
isn't just about the sex. Just as a woman who cheats may be seeking
more affection than what she's getting at home, a man often cheats
because he's seeking the attention that he no longer gets at home.
Part of the allure of the mysterious woman isn't just to find out
what she looks like naked; it's that the woman showers the man with
flirtations, with seduction, with advances that make him feel like
he's worthy of more than just fixing dents in the drywall.

To Get Out:
I know lots of guys who simply don't have the strength to end it.
They may try ("I'm just not happy"), or they may take other tactics
to drive a woman away. A lot of guys simply have trouble breaking
off relationships because they don't want to be perceived as that
bad guy, the jerk, the insensitive lout who ended something good. So
they tiptoe around the issue in hopes that she'll get so frustrated
that she'll back out first. Well, if that doesn't work, then a man
knows that the only way out is to commit the relationship sin that
drives a woman away for good. It's not right, but it's what happens.

To Change Up His Play List:
Think about what's on your iPod. You have your favorite songs you
play over and over, but every once in a while, you're in the mood to
hear something you haven't played in a long time. You don't need to
hear it but once every month or so, but still, you appreciate the
changeup. Relationships need to be like good iPods lists. You're
comfortable with your routine and you like your routine, but it's
always nice to change things up. What men really want in
relationships (and what I suspect women also want) is to be able to
take comfort in the routine of a long-term commitment, as long as
there are some surprises that make it feel like a new relationship
every once in a while. In order to keep the relationship strong,
you've got to change the songs every once in a while. That goes for
in the bedroom and out.

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