peterz unbearable complaints on life: February 2009

Going through a different period of life is always tough in the beginning. I am no exception.
It just seems like everyone moving to a new phase in life.
Some looking at making more money, some are planning on settling down, some planning to continue their studies..well i guess the honeymoon period after uni has ended.
One thing I can't digest is the fact that everyone realises it at the same time. It is depressing, especially when it comes to marriage.
Maybe I am just making things big when it is not so crutial, but I have always been like that. Worry about unneccesary things but I dont say it out as I dont want others to sympathise or think I am a freak! More to the ego part actually.
I dont like it when the usual stuff, which I am use to starts to change. I hate change.
Work has been depressing..at times I just think no point for me to go to work..just want to retire young and go far far away for holiday...forever.
I know it will be different and it is going to be tougher than ever now to be alone. It is sad, but I am too worried and have this mounting amount of fear on relationship that stops me from having any serious ones..I need to learn to over come it, I am learning...extremely slow I must say.
As strange as it sounds, I was watching the reruns of F.R.I.E.N.D.S series on starworld (surprise, surprise) yesterday and it was the episode where the friends slowly part away...all in their own way, phoebe married to mike, chandler and monica moving to a new crib, rachel going to paris and ross doing something (he is not my favourite). Joey feels the pressure, I am feeling exactly how joey felt..alone, left behind because I am not doing anything with my life. I hope someone out there will make a shuresh's room in their home if they get married..any takers? :)
From all that, what I can say is my world revolves around my friends..literally. When things starts to change....I feel left out, lonely..It is not a feeling that you celebrate. I know that change is destinied to happen and it is unavoidable, but if they just take the time to turn around, they will see me standing there waitting for them,doing nothing just like standing at a busstop for a bus to come, which apparently doesnt arrive at all.
I just realised something from what I wrote up there...I think that is why I prefer to be single and avoid from falling in love with someone...it is because I don't want the situation now to change. I like it the way I am right now...that is giving me the fear that if I actually get the guts to commit myself with someone, all this will change, I will become one of them. Oh Lord...
I am just in a very friend-appreciating mood right now...or more to hate the changes mood...or just typing crap sitting at starbucks...because trying to kill time...

*On a lighter note, Rihanna, girl girl girl, i told you to be with me...i told you chris brown is an asshole...now you know..ask him to take a bow and come under my umberella ella ella eh eh eh... *And...for heaven's sake, stop the freaking drama in perak and start thinking about how to save people from loosing jobs, sustaning the economy and how to take advantage of the slowdown...stop protecting your backside alone, its not going anywhere...look at other's...it is being damaged badly.
*Go A.R.Rahman, you made us proud, keep up the good work man!