YOU ARE AN INDIAN IF.....

1.Everything you eat is savored in garlic, onion and
tomatoes.

2.You try and reuse gift wrappers, gift boxes, and
of coursealuminium foil.

3.You try to eject food particles from between your
teeth bypressing your tongue against them and making
a peculiar  noise like,tshick,tshick, tschick, tschick.

4.You are standing next to the two largest size
suitcases at the Airport.

5.You arrive one or two hours late to a party - and
think it'snormal.

6.You peel the stamps off letters that the Postal
Servicemissed to mark up.

7.You recycle Wedding Gifts.

8.You name your children in rhythms (example,
Sita & Gita, Ram & Shyam)

9.All your children have pet names, which sound
nowhere close to their real names.

10.You take Indian snacks anywhere it says
"No Food Allowed"

11.You talk for an hour at the front door when
leaving someone's house.

12.You load up the family car with as many
people as possible.

13.You use plastic to cover anything new in your
house whetherit's the remote control, VCR,
carpet or new couch.

14.Your parents tell you not to care what your
friends think,but they won't let you do certain 
things because of what the other
"Uncles and Aunties" will think.

15.You buy and display crockery, which is for
specialoccasions,which never happen.

16.You have a vinyl tablecloth on your
kitchen table.

17.You use grocery bags to hold garbage.

18.You keep leftover food in your fridge in as
many numbers of bowls as possible.

19.Your kitchen shelf is full of jam jars,
varieties of bowlsand plastic utensils
(got free with some household items).

20.You carry a stash of your own food whenever
you travel (andtravel means any car ride longer
than 15 minutes).

21.You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.

22.You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

23.You live with your parents and you are 40 years
old. (And they prefer it that way).

24.You don't use measuring cups when cooking.

25.You never learnt how to stand in a queue.

26.You can only travel if there are 5 persons at
least to seeyou off or receive you whether you are
travelling by bus,  train orplane.

27.If she is NOT your daughter, you always take
interest inknowing whose daughter has run with
whose son and feel proud tospread it at the
velocity of more than the speed of light.

28.You only make long distance calls after 11 p.m.

29.If you don't live at home, when your parents call,
they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.

30.You call an older person you never met before
"uncle."

31.When your parents meet strangers and talk for
a fewminutes,you discover you're talking to
a distant cousin.

32.Your parents don't realize phone connections
to foreigncountries have improved in the last two
decades, and still scream at the top of their
lungs when making foreign calls.

33.You have bed sheets on your sofas so as to keep
them from getting dirty.

34.It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than
600 people.

35.All your Tupperware is stained with food color.

36.You have drinking glasses made of steel.

37.You have mastered the art of bargaining in
shopping.