Rojak Pasembor

Things has turned from bad to worst. As I was thinking I was actually coming out of all the clusters, I am being pushed down more and more. I believe this is a test GOD is putting on me to see how far can i go. Well, I'm gonna prove to HIM alright. With the people who loves me around me, I know nothing can change or make me cry. Some problems settled in a very uneasy way where the decision made actually solves the problem but not in a pleasant way. The only problem which is haunting me very very much now is MONEY! The budget I made doesnt seem to be right! I have no idea. I think I have to sacrifice somethings in life that I love so much for this. But I know things will change. That is what that is still keeping me going on. My faith in me is slowly disapearing and if i don't react now I dont know where am i gonna go. I can see bright light in front of me, but i have a hard time to leave the street i am standing now. I love it so much. people trust me, people think i am a part of the family, yet i just can afford it. The price that i have to pay is just to much. I have taken the first step away from the street. let's see how far do i need to go to reach the brighter side.
I wouldn't know what i would do without all my frens. Who am i gonna tell stuff to, who am i gonna get up in the morning wake them up and say good morning before leaving to work? who is gonna give me rm1 when i don't have money to go back?who is gonna go for lunch with me? who am i gonna go dinner with? who am i gonna disturb when i am bored? who am i gonna make fun of? who is gonna make fun of me? who i am gonna beat up? who?.....who?
I believe evryone has to go through this period of feeling. Man! It is even worst than falling in love! I tell to myself always, where they gonna go? they gonna be around. only that not with u. so, it doesnt matter. but the distant! thats the poison in every relationship i have had so far.
When u go futher apart, the more u gonna feel ur frens like strangers. I know keep in touch is good but how far can that work? U will have ur own set of frens, i will have my own set of frens. can't be making fun and do crazy stuffs like last time. distance makes the heart grow fonder and stranger...i believe.
As much as i love my school frens, my uni frens are the ones i love more. i dont know why but i feel that they will always be ther like brothers and sisters. After this, dont know wahts gonna happen...i just dont want to go through this period, i still want to drive my frens around, i still want my frens to pay for me when i dont have money, i want to fetch my frens from pudu, i want to go for holidays with my frens, i want to have lunch with my frens, i want to fetch my frens back from campus, i want to get drunk with my frens....:((
I really love u guys and hope we wont go apart...